VAGINISMUS (scroll down)

Autism & intimacy

How do you navigate the world of dating? Maybe you have 100 questions on this topic, or past experiences you want to share. Would you like to practice what it's like to take someone out?

If you are autistic, your perception of intimacy may be different from what you often hear, read and see around you. This can feel like a big challenge or unfulfilled desire.

For example, because you do feel arousal, but it seems to be about completely different things than what is standardly seen as sexual or arousing. Or because the idea of sex is very exciting to you in your mind, but you don't know how your body will react to all those stimuli. It can help to talk about this. If you are open to it, you can also learn more about how your body reacts to stimuli through exercises. Which ones feel good, which don't, and where are your limits?

It may also be that it is not so much about the physical experience of intimacy, but that you get stuck in your head on something like flirting and chatting during a date, for instance. How does that actually work? A commonly heard advice is 'just be yourself', but with the overwhelm that, for example, sitting in a cafe alone can bring, that's already almost impossible to do, let alone in the company of someone you like.

I understand you and you are welcome!

My name is Lynx, I am 36 and I am autistic myself. So when I say I understand you, I mean it very directly from my own experience. My fascination with sexuality is great and I have learnt a lot about it over the years. I have noticed that as autistic lesbian women, we have little use for the self-help books, YouTube videos, TV programmes and so on that deal with sex and dating. Even in conversations with neurotypical women about this topic, we often feel like a bit of an alien, because we experience things slightly differently. There is still little representation, little to mirror and get our information from on this particular subject. Which is really a shame, because if there is one thing that would make us happy, it would be a manual with explanations so we can learn how something works. There is no such handbook. It's us. A scary idea I know, but we got this. If you have questions about sex, about your body, about dating, no matter how specific or 'weird' you think they are, you really can ask me anything. I listen, ask questions, give examples and we talk together about ways for you to find pleasure in sex, flirting or dating.

The Naughty Woman offers a service where you can be sexually intimate with a lady. My service differs from this, it is not possible to have sex with me or kiss me. Previously, this was the case and it gave me many wonderful experiences. Now I focus on conversations, practice dates and bodywork.
By bodywork, I mean exercises with clothes on, which can help you learn more about what does and does not feel comfortable for your body and your senses. I am not a therapist, this is not therapy. If you book a session with me, we will be together in a warm, informal atmosphere.

We can talk beforehand about any adjustments you need to make our session nice and safe for you. An example of this is that making eye contact during our talks is really not necessary if it is nicer for you to omit that.

If we can adjust the room we are in beforehand in terms of light, temperature, smell, or anything else that is important to you, please let me know. I am comfortable with stimming and tics, you don't have to hide them if they are there. You are completely welcome, with everything that belongs to you.

If during the session you notice that for any reason you don't feel comfortable, get tired or over-stimulated, you can tell me at any time and we will stop or do something else.
For me, sex is something magical. In this loud world where our senses are so often tested, I find beauty in paying attention to the wonderfully beautiful side of sensitivity. Because oh, it exists! I love to show it to you.

A session with Lynx is booked per 2 hours
The goal is getting you prepared and confident in a maximum of 4 sessions. When your intimacy challenges are more complex, a therapist is a wiser choice
The rate (travel expenses included) €465

When you reach out, you'll get answered by me (Lex) always, no one else will contact you. I understand this might be a huge step for you so take your time, I'm patient!

Vaginismus & intimacy


You maybe clicked the link about vaginismus in Liv's bio, perhaps because you experience that yourself or because you know someone who does, either way, good to have you here!
You might know you're not the only one, but now you know for sure.

Involuntary pain during sex/intimacy is the last thing you want. Great sex shouldn't hurt if you dont want it to do.
Liv and Mila like to show you, you too can have a wonderful and creative sex life when having vaginismus.

When your pelvic floor muscles don't cooperate with your mind, that's quite an impactful fact in your experience. Maybe you know the reason, maybe you have no clue. When you reached out for professional help, you should definitely keep on doing that.

But, meanwhile you maybe long for touch, a safe sexual encounter without constantly having to explain yourself or worry about the patience level of your partner..
No obligations, which of course goes for all our dates. Consent is key, every step of the way, always. Being intimate with a woman who experiences the same condition can be relaxing. Especially if you feel (unjustified) shame.
Some women live their whole life with vaginismus, others experience it temporarily.

No matter your situation, you're invited to find out if we can mean something for you.